Robert Burns Scotlands poet The Rude Songs

Normally, every scrap of work by a great literary figure is treasured by the scholars and biographers who come after him.
Not so in the case of the bawdy songs of Scotland's National Poet, Robert Burns. Burns himself kept the songs in a locked drawer, and those who protected his reputation after his death usually did not want him to be associated with anything that might be considered improper. Hence the lack of publishing, and later recording ventures devoted to the songs, called in their first edition, and still always referred to as, "The Merry Muses of Caledonia".

Nine Inch Will Please a Lady Tune:The Quaker's Wife Come rede me dame, come tell me, dame, My dame come tell me truly, What length o' graith, when weel ca'd hame, Will sair a woman duly? The carlin clew her wanton tail, Her wanton tail sae ready - I learn'd a sang in Annandale, Nine inch will please a lady. But for a koontrie cunt like mine, In sooth, we're nae sae gentle; We'll take tway thumb-bread to the nine, And tha's a sonsy pintle; O leeze me on my Charlie lad, I'll ne'er forget my Charlie! Tway roarin handfu's and a daud, He nidge't it in fu' rarely. But weary fa' the laithron doup And may it ne'er ken thrivin! It's no the length that maks me loup, But it's the double drivin.- Come nidge me, Tam, come nidge me Tam, Come nidge me o'er the nyvel! Come lowse and lug your battering ram, And thrash him at my gyvel!
rede - advise graith - tools sair - serve carlin - old woman pintle - male organ laithron - lazy, inactive doup - backside gyvel - gable

Nine Inch Will Please a Lady
Tune:The Quaker's Wife

Come rede me dame, come tell me, dame,
My dame come tell me truly,
What length o' graith, when weel ca'd hame,
Will sair a woman duly?
The carlin clew her wanton tail,
Her wanton tail sae ready -
I learn'd a sang in Annandale,
Nine inch will please a lady.

But for a koontrie cunt like mine,
In sooth, we're nae sae gentle;
We'll take tway thumb-bread to the nine,
And tha's a sonsy pintle;
O leeze me on my Charlie lad,
I'll ne'er forget my Charlie!
Tway roarin handfu's and a daud,
He nidge't it in fu' rarely.

But weary fa' the laithron doup
And may it ne'er ken thrivin!
It's no the length that maks me loup,
But it's the double drivin.-
Come nidge me, Tam, come nidge me Tam,
Come nidge me o'er the nyvel!
Come lowse and lug your battering ram,
And thrash him at my gyvel!

rede - advise graith - tools sair - serve carlin - old woman pintle - male organ laithron - lazy, inactive doup - backside gyvel - gable

Now a CD that focuses on these particular songs has been produced by Fat Puddock Promotions
Find out more . . .

'This album of bawdy songs by Burns, selected by Crawford, based on "The Songs of Robert Burns" (1993) edited by myself, illustrates the wide range of the song-writer's comic gifts. While he can be very explicit, not to say crude, Burns's flair for combining words and airs ensures that the collection has lasting vitality.'
Professor Donald Low
Director of the Centre for Scottish Literature and Culture
Stirling University

Wad Ye Do That?
Tune:John Anderson, My Jo

Gudwife when your gudeman's frae hame,
Might I but be sae bauld,
As come to your bed-chamber,
When winter nights are cauld;
As come to your bed-chamber,
When nights are cauld and wat,
And lie in your gudeman's stead,
Wad ye do that?

Young man, an ye should be so kind,
When our gudeman's frae hame
As come to my bed-chamber,
Where I am laid my lane;
And lie in our gudeman's stead,
I will tell you what,
He fucks me five times ilka night,
Wad ye do that?

The BAWDY songs of Scotlands poet Robert Burns they didn't want you to hear!

The BAWDY songs of Scotlands poet Robert Burns
they didn't want you to hear!